China, Inc.

The Canadian Dollar – which we affectionately call the Loonie – has been worth less than the US dollar for my whole conscious life. That is, until yesterday. For a brief moment yesterday, the Canadian dollar was worth more than its American counterpart. For a moment there, one Loonie could get you $1.0003 US. This morning, the dollars opened at par before the Canadian dollar slipped moderately.

In other, possibly significant economic turns of events yesterday, several Middle East governments acquired large blocks of stock in some very prime Western economic real estate. The government of Dubai, according to the Washington Post, acquired “a 19.9 percent stake in the Nasdaq Stock Market, becoming the first government in the Middle East to own a substantial interest in a U.S. exchange.” In ’separate’ incidents, the government of Qatar acquired 20% control of the London Stock Exchange while the powers-that-be in Abu Dhabi acquired 7.5% of the ultra powerful Washinton based Carlyle Group, the private equity financial playground in which both Bushes and bin Laden’s could play – in a pre-9/11 world, at least. And, oh, as part of the deal between Dubai and the Nasdaq, Dubai will assume control of just over 28% of the London Stock Exchange. So if you are keeping score, the governments of Dubai and Qatar collectively but ’separately’ acquired nearly 50% control of the London Stock Exchange. The United Arab Emirates are on the march.

That’s globalization for you. So is this: Back in May, the Chinese government spent $3 billion dollars for a stake in Carlyle competitor The Blackstone Group. Among this group’s diverse holdings are numerous theme parks, millions of square feet of prime real estate throughout the Northeastern United States, and the chain of Hilton Hotels. The $3 billion that China spent on its share of Blackstone is just chump change compared to the over trillion dollar surplus the Chinese government finds itself sitting on. You know all that crappy stuff you bought at MallWart? The stuff with the Made in China label that you got such a good deal on because it was poisoning your pets and your kids? That’s the stuff that made China rich, the stuff that will let them buy the companies that hired them to make all that garbage in the first place. Does that count as irony? It should. This is probably the largest cash reserve in history and China is out shopping.

Now I’m no big city economist, and I can’t draw the direct lines between the collapsing American dollar, the ballooning American debt, and this rampant surge of foreign investment coming directly from non-ideologically aligned states, states that some observers might even regard as enemies or potential enemies of the United States. According to Senator Charles Schumer (D-NY), the government of Dubai has “been cited as a nexus of terror financing, money laundering, and a potential crossroads for shipping and trading for Iran in their quest for nuclear materials and technology.” China has a permanent role on the Pentagon’s shit-list, because its powerhouse economy has a powerhouse military right behind it, and this combination is one reserved by God Himself for the United States alone.

Is this how the enemies of the West finally bring it down? At its own game? While the United States squanders its own money (money it borrowed from China, and whose repayment will be a thorn in the side of generations to come) in futile attempts at military conquest, its enemies and competitors play Capitalist, by Washington Consensus rules, and they play it well. These governments have acquired significant control of essential Western assets without firing a shot. And they will continue to get richer and richer and to acquire more and more, because Western dependence on oil and the corporatist dependence on outsourcing to maximize profits has led the West inexorably to this position.

Our culture is one of consumption, unsupported by comparable production, and consumers who don’t produce must be wholly dependent on others. I use to worry that someday Canada might be swallowed whole by the retarded giant at its doorstep. But now I wonder if it’s just a matter of time before we’re all absorbed by the real superpowers.

Welcome to North America, sir, a wholly owned subsidiary of China, Incorporated. We hope you enjoy your stay.